Blessings and Breaking Points

Life is full of love, laughter, and happiness. It is also filled with disappointment, anger, and sadness. Some times there are so many blessings happening in ones life that you don't really notice the small little bad, irritating things going on. Until you hit a breaking point.

This weekend started off like any other. I got off work at 5 on Friday and decided to treat my children to a smoothie. On my way home i picked them up each a strawberry and banana smoothie just so they could have a treat. No reason other than that. Brought it home and of course like all children they were excited. Then that turned into them each being their age and the fact that they are brothers and sisters. So of course they use the straws that came with their drinks to create a mess.

Once the drinks were then taken away because of them doing that and the mess cleaned up we then just chilled for a little bit. Then it was time for teeth brushing and getting the kiddos to bed.

Once that was accomplished my husband and I had a nice little dinner out at Olive Garden. We then came home and rested for the night.

Saturday morning rolled around and my brother, who has been looking to buy a vehicle for himself, needed a ride to look at a truck. So most of this morning was spent driving to get the money out of the bank and then waiting for the gentleman that was selling the truck to see if it would pass smog before driving three hours away to look at it.

((it didn't pass, so we didn't have to driver down there, whewww))

Then something happened. A conversation, that's all it was and it triggered something in me and a LOT of emotion just rolled over my heart all at once. Everything that I had been keeping to myself and trying deep down to not express and trying to say wasn't bothering me, when it really was, came to the surface.

All of the sad things, little in comparison to the blessings, started to come to the fore front of my thoughts.

Recently a really good friend moved away to a different state. Not only a friend but my boss. This has made my work place not as enjoyable as it once was, it also means that we can't hang out during our weekends.

Being passed up for a promotion at work for a reason that not only doesn't make sense  but the denial of said promotion actually seems a little spiteful on the part of the person that would grant the promotion.

Two friends had deaths with in their families which were extremely heart breaking. One had a brother who passed. The other it was their first born child. When ever a friend has a death in their family it always brings up memories of when my brother passed, feelings that haven't been completely dealt with.

Through all of the sadness though I can see how truly blessed I am. I have a job, it may not be where i want or what i would like to be doing but it brings in a pay check. I have 4 healthy children that i love and adore. An amazing husband who sees that my heart is hurting today and allows me to seclude myself in our room to allow myself to feel the feelings i am having. Which has brought me to this moment to write it all down. In the hopes that it will help me feel better.

Life is not always roses it never has been. But I wish that life would be a bit easy for the next few years. I just want things to go my way. I know that is not realistic and is extremely selfish. Really it's Gods plans I hope win over all his path is the one that i want to go down.



Side note: good for me on a third posting so soon. LOL.

Thank you for reading!!!

What the future may hold

At heart I am a true procrastinator.

I have many ideas for projects that I start but never finish. Always thinking that I will get to them all, until there are so many that I simply give up and trash them all. What will my future hold if I continue down this path.

The first of my projects is my crocheting, I love to crochet. It is a wonderful outlet for me. I simply pull out my shiny crochet hook and some yarn and start stitching away.

 I love creating blankets and hats for friends and family. I have even started an Etsy shop as well. Although there are times when i put the hook down for weeks sometimes months I always resume the project I was working on, that is the good thing about this project. It is easy and simply to just put the yarn and hook away and have the item I am working on paused until I am ready to finish them.

Second would be my photography. I love taking pictures. I love capturing the laughter, smiles, natural moments. Those between a loving husband doting on his wife. Those of a mother with her beautiful children. I simply enjoy taking pictures. Normally I enjoy photographing people but occasionally I will take nature photos as well. Although I haven't done that for some time now. Recently I dabbled in taking a picture of my own family.

 To be Honest I am not a fan of a full body picture of myself. But i really think the was a great family picture.
Then I took pictures of my children as well. I don't think i ever really edited nor did i really post or print these. But i do plan on doing that at some point. I don't like paying for school photos so this is one of Sebastian in December of 2015, He was six in this picture but turned 7 shortly after.

Teagan. I am honestly determined to make models of my children. If they would let me do their hair every day i would photograph them beyond belief. 

And then I get tired of doing edits and taking pictures and will then move on to something else. The pictures i have posted were meant to be edited and posted to my facebook but yet they remain on my computer. 

Then i decided i wanted to write. I have always had a passion for writing. I remember when i was in high school i wrote a delightful poem which was then published. Although i don't remember the darn thing nor do i have it.....grrr...

I have started a book. After drinking a glass of wine one night  and while listening to some euphoric inducing music. I scribbled 5 pages worth which i didn't remember writing to begin with, yes it was just one glass of wine. The next day i read what i wrote and was astonished at how good it was. I was also scared.

Scared of what? What am i so afraid of? Why not drink another glass of wine relax a little and let the words flow from my mind down my neck, over my shoulder, through my arm and out my fingers. 

I think what is holding me back is the fear of failure. Of not being good enough. But I will take this as the first step to conquering my procrastination. I have been meaning to write a blog post for a couple of days but had no clue what i wanted to say. And although it is late at night right now and i know there are probably a million grammar errors. I will still post this and I will still say thank you for reading. 

Come Back?

Wow!!!! It has been almost two years since my last post. The girls will be five soon. My oldest is seven and my youngest is three. I am still working with the same company, I have been with them now for about 11 years.

Once again I will be attempting at doing this blog thing. Trying to use it as a true outlet for everything really. I make no promises....LOL

The last year and a half have seen their ups and downs. But honestly it wouldn't be life with out both, right?

So I just wanted to write a small post just to say I'm going to try and get back to this. I have a few ideas in mind on what I would like to write about. Honestly writing is my passion but I never make time for it, which I really need to do.

I hope to really impress myself, to be honest, and hopefully all my readers as well by being consistent with my writings.

Well here's to a challenge made and challenge accepted!!!!!!!