31 weeks pregnant

29 week rant

29 weeks pregnant with twins

28 weeks pregnant with twins

27 weeks pregnant

http://youtu.be/MYgYh-TFkW8

27 weeks pregnant.

sorry i have to keep putting up in link form but for some reason blogger hasn't been loading my video's. If anyone has any advice on this i would appreciate it.

RSVP'ing why can't people just get it?

There are two video links because my camera died. Feel free to leave comments. Also as promised below the video links are links to Maria Gridley's Blog and Etsy shop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r3UElx1C38

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co9DJnoNT90




http://agapelovedesigns.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/AgapeLoveBoutique

my first vlog

Since stupid blogger wouldn't actually post the video i decided to just post a link to my first vlog.

http://youtu.be/ihm4WFmaeSs

My Mother's Day

Several years ago back in 2008 on Mother's Day I took a pregnancy test and found I out that I was expecting. It was litterally the happiest and scariest day of my life. Well until Sebastian actually arrived. Which he did a splendid job of coming into this world January 10, 2009.

That was the first year i actually celebrated Mother's Day. My son decided to tell his daddy at the age of 4 months old that he wanted to give me a picture of himself and his hand print in casting. Which was delivered to me at work where i cried and cried.

In 2010 i got to celebrate my second year of being a mother. Which was just as amazing as the first. My son decided that he would get me flowers that could never wilt or fade. They are wooden and still amazingly beautiful. He also got me a potted rose plant.

This year 2011 my son got me a mug that he designed himself its very cute!! From my husband i got an amazing book that was part of a series i love. And the two little girls inside me got me some pink roses.

Out of these three mother's day celebrations i have to say that what i enjoyed the most where the days in between. The breastfeeding the first several months. The watching my son learn to crawl and then walk and then talk. Being with my husband as we watched our son grow. He may only be two but a lot of things can happen in two years. I remember the teeth when they started coming in the first time he had a fever and of course his first boo boo. These are the things i enjoy and cherish.

I love my son and my husband for making me feel like one of the best mothers in the world. I am also so glad that i get to experience these things all over again with twin girls.

My favorite saying used to be "try try try again" it changed when i had my son.

While in the operating room ( due to a c-section ) after hearing him cry for the first time i told my husband "Im a mommy" this statement has never been so true as it is today. Am I also a million other things to other people? Of course but first and for most i am a mother and wife. I hope and pray that all mothers out there truly know and understand how special you are to have the kids that you do. But keep in mind that you can make ANY DAY a mothers day by simply thinking back on the day you gave birth. I do this several times a year and break out the video of sebastian after he was born and while i was in recovery. It was the hardest hour of my life and every time i watch it i cry.

Here is a link to the video please watch and enjoy http://youtu.be/AqxMZx0uRoQ

And although i enjoy the video very much i am scared as all get out with the twins because i know for the first hour of their life i will be recovering from surgery but i know we will have our handy camera there with us and i really wont need to worry.

So to all you mothers out there Happy Mother's Day. I hope that today you were able to reflect on your childrens lives and know that no matter what they love and cherish you just as much as you cherish them.

Oh!!! Hello there

Well its been a couple weeks since my last post. If you are a regular reader then you know i don't post very often. Normally because I just don't know what to say. I have been looking over you tube though and got the idea of doing a vlog (video blog) which i am thinking of doing on here. I am just not sure how i feel about that just yet. I may try it out and post an example of it and see what the response is.

Any whooo as most of my friends/readers know Ron has been having to deal with court issues about child support and such. Well he had his court date April 28th, I am just gonna cut to the chase and let you know they gave him an extension. So as long as we start making the child support payment and he continues to look for a job he wont go to jail. One of many problems with this is I am no longer working full time and with in the next week or two i will not be working at all and will be surviving on disability only. How ever we do rely heavly on Ron's mom who makes a ton more money than i do even though she doesn't work. She makes almost double my income a month. So fortunatly she has offered to help pay a portion of the child support to help us out.

BUT.....Looks like Ron has a really good chance of getting a job over at the copy center here in town and im really excited. It would be full time and his shift would be 3pm-11pm which actually would be really good for us. We would appreciate any and all prayers on this issue. we really need the income even though they will take about half of it for child support we will need the rest to supplement the income im not bringing in.

Okay so enough of that stuff. So back to doing the vlog. I have been following this mom on you tube that had twins last year in april. Its amazing the things that i have learned just from her vlogs alone. Thats where i got the idea from was from her. Also i will hopefully be posting new belly pics in the next few days. Its a little hard to get them done with a 2 year old running around and the fact that its hard to stand sit lay for too long lol. But im gonna try it =) So if you pay attention to my blogs and i hope you do and you think that vloging would be a better outlet or a different more interesting way for me to get my opinions and voice out there let me know. Would you watch them? Would you comment on them? Let me know what you think.

Thanks!!!!

new belly pics to come in the next few days.
and a practice vlog.

Gestational Diabetes

So this past Thursday I was 21 weeks along in my pregnancy with twins (according to dates and not actual size of babies). After reviewing all my test results my midwife tell me that she wants me to start checking my blood sugar level three times a day. Once before a meal and then 1 hour after lunch and an hour after dinner.

So starting today that's what i did. Now let me say that while at the doctors office she told me that the only level they were concerned with was my FASTING level which basically means that i haven't eaten for at least 12 hours prior to having my blood drawn. The other level which is after a meal is good and no problema. So i asked what my score was she told me 105 was my fasting score and that it needed to be below 95. Now i was little concerned because Ron had told me that he used to work with diabetic people before in a past job and that what they wanted your level to be between was 80-120.

So today i pricked my finger this morning and got a score of 131 as my fasting level. An hour after lunch it was 133 and then an hour after dinner it was 114. Since they haven't put me on medication and just having me check my blood sugar level I have been a littel skeptical. Please don't get me wrong i want to make sure both of my babies and myself are very healthy and since she said my levels were elevated i have made changes to my diet mainly taking out a ton of sugar i was eating.

But tonight after looking at my latest score I thought to myself hmm may be i should check with ADA and see what they say the levels should be. Now the ADA is the American Diabetic Association. So looked it up and this is what they say your blood sugar levels should be.

Preprandial plasma glucose (before a meal)

70-130 mg/dl (5.0-7.2mmol/l)

Postprandial plasma glucose (after a meal)

&lt;180mg/dl (<10.0mmol/l)

If this is what is stated by the ADA I wanna know why she is telling me it needs to be 95 or below. I'm a little irritated. I know that i am overweight but i haven't even gained a pound in a month. So i literally have gained NOTHING since my last doctors appointment. GRRRRRR I'm wondering if i should print out this page and let her know that i do research when i don't agree with what they are saying.

20 weeks pregnant with twins

So far this pregnancy has been a wild rollercoaster of emotions and physical issues. At about 9-10 weeks I bled so badly and passed some huge clots we thought we were miss carrying the twins. At 17 weeks went into the ER because of some extreme abdominal pain on the right side. That night i had surgery to remove a 10cm cyst and my right ovarie and have been off work for the last 3 weeks. This is my 4th week being off work and I should be going back monday the 25th but with the way im feeling i think im gonna talk to the doctor about putting me back at only part time. I just recently started experiencing BH contractions and boy they don't feel very good not to mention i really can't sit or stand longer than 10-15 min with out getting extremely uncomfortable. I don't know how i would be able to do it all day at an office. The babies are so high that even reclining im uncomfortable. The only time i feel okay is when im laying down. I feel bad that I don't wanna go back to work like im copping out but if i don't feel good what am i supposed to do?

Major Stuff, Hoping that the lord gives me the strength and patience to deal with it

Only my closest friends know about the issues we have beeing having regarding child support. My husband Ron has been unable to provide child support (in the form of money) to the state. Due to him being a stay at home dad so that way i can go to work. He was taken to court in december and was told he had till april 28th to find a job. As most people know jobs are not easy to come by. He has been looking and applying every month per court order yet he has had no offers. Not to mention with him going to work we would have to find day care which even with him working we will not be able to afford. I have been praying (i will say not as often as i should) about the subject but im still feeling uneasy. His court date is not until April 28th. I go back to work on the 25th which means if he gets put in jail we will need to find someone that is willing to watch sebastian either free or almost basically free. I am SO upset about his because his ex could make things go away and she knows she could. She could simply fill out a form that says they have an arrangement and all charges will be dropped. But she wont, we have asked. I guess it doesn't matter that he has a son at home that he is supporting by watching every day all day taking care of or that he is also taking care of his disabled mother every day all day or that he has been taking care of a wife pregnant with twins all day every day. They could give a rats behind about that. Not to mention he would be in jail all of May and possibly the beginning of June. I go on bed rest as of May 25th and my baby shower will be June 4th. I am extremely scared and am not sure what to do at this point. I want to write a letter to the court but im not sure they will read it, or may be to child support but i doubt they will care. All i know is that i want to get it all set up now as to what needs to happen or that ron can get a part time job that doesn't take him away from home for too many hours as i really can't take care of sebastian all by mysel right now. Ugh i hate just not knowing and having things up in the air. *~Prayer~* Dear Lord, I know that we are not the most perfect christans or parents or people. We make mistakes. You know everything that is and will be. I am asking for strength and patience during this time of uncertainty. I pray that they (the court) does not put ron in jail or fine him. We can not financially afford him to not be here at home. I pray that he is able to find a job at least part time before his court date of April 28th 2011. Lord please bless our family as you always have. I also want to thank you for all you have already done lord. You are the glue that has held our family together and has helped us through our lives. Please just continue to be the influnce that we turn to always in good and bad times. In Jesus name AMEN!!!

17 weeks pregnant with twins---girls??

We had our OB appointment today at 17 weeks. Although the mid-wife could not tell for sure, we think they may be two girls. I am SO happy since I had really wanted to have at least one daughter. I had actually been hoping for a boy and a girl. But to have two is even greater!!

So when we stepped out of the doctors office and got into the car and Ron and I started to talk about what we just saw I did start to tear up, I will admit that much. I was tearing up from extreme happieness though.

So for the last few weeks I have been feeling movement. Really I started feeling flutters at about 11-12 weeks. But the last couple weeks im feeling strong movement and I can definatley tell where they are when i feel my stomach. I know I am a bigger woman and sometimes it can be hard for us type of ladies to feel the babies right away so I'm getting excited to feel them move and tumble all around. During the ultrasound they kept squirming around it was TOO cute.

So below is a belly picture (in it im laying down so i don't look as "fat" as i really am) at 16 weeks pregnant.

Now I will get even bolder lol and show you my 17 week old belly

(haha I was thinking while taking this pic that you wouldn't be able to tell that its been a week but I think you totally can)

I have two more pictures

Well these are my pics!!! and my post for now. OH and we are thinking about Amelia and Teagan for the names of our girls. Should find out for sure April 8th since we have another sonogram at the Imaging Center at the hospital.

For now I am going to lay down and enjoy pushing my babies around to make them move =)

Being A Mother

Being a mother has been one of the most special things that I have done with my life. When I found out I was pregnant with Sebastian I was astounded that the lord thought I was good enough to become something so special. After the shock wore off I started wondering what I was getting myself into. How could I be a mother?


Thankfully because of Ron by myside and the lord guiding the way I have learned A LOT!!!



My son is the most important person in my life. ( Aside from the lord ) Every day since he was born I look into those beautiful blue eyes and my heart skips a beat.



I have my moments with him when I just want five minutes but when i have those five minutes all i wanna do is kiss and hold him. He is my little monkey and my buba. It always seems to keep me amazed at how much i love him and how much that love continues to grow. I am always surprised by how old he is already lol.



In the two years of being a mother I found that your heart grows, beyond meassure. That no matter what, you WANT to give your child everything THEY WANT. That it is a lot harder to punish them for things they shouldn't be doing. That although they may throw a fit that you wanna hold them right after wards and let them feel and know how much you love them.




I have found myself letting him get away with certain things like staying up late just because I want to be with him.





I have found myself stealing kisses from him and squeezing him tight just to make him laugh because it makes me smile. I am sitting here thinking that although ALL mothers and fathers give so much of themselves to their children it really is a selfish role. You pretty much make happen what YOU WANT to happen with your kids (of course until they are a certain age)

Now that he is at the age of 2 I have found im pregnant with twins and I can't wait to see what that holds for me and our family. I love my son and the one thing i have wanted to give to him is siblings that he can play with instead of always playing alone. I hope that one day my son is able to read any and all posts and blogs i write about him and know how special he is to me and his father. He has been the light of my life for the last two years and we have so many more to be had.

Is this real?

Am I truly pregnant? You know we were not trying. I was just going in to see the doctor about the pain I was feeling. I was not excpecting to find out I was pregnant and especially with twins. I am happy though, truly happy.

Although I am happy I have found myself up late at night and wondering if this could possibly be real. Well duh!! I know that it is I have seen the twins both move and have heard one of their heart beats, the other one moves too much for us to get a steady beat lol.

Amazed is how I feel a lot of the time. As more and more of my friends found out they were expecting, I just kept thinking to myself , I wanna baby. Not knowing that I was actually pregnant. I am amazed that there are TWO babies inside me right now. I am also amazed that we are actually pregnant. I was thinking we would have trouble getting pregnant again. Its astounding that I didn't even know I was pregnant. It didn't even cross my mind.

Now though I am starting to get excited even though I am a little stressed with the thought of loosing these two precious gifts. We have started putting the nursery slowly together we are getting the walls primed for when we find out the sex of the babies and we will also be changing out the carpet to the room as well. I am excited to start buying furniture as well. But for now I am going to rest and stop blogging.

Unbelievable.

I'm sitting/laying down due to bed rest and still can't believe we are pregnant. It's just SO amazing to me. I also keep thinking, how was it possible for me not to know? How in the world could i have missed the signs? After all they were all there. Not feeling well, really tired during the weekends, unable to really settle on anything to eat. It never accured to me to even take a pregnancy test. The cats acting weird around me never sent any signals to me. Not to mention even the thought of twins that never crossed my mind. But now im learning all these things about pregnancy with twins and what to do after and how to breastfeed them its gonna be so different than when i was pregnant with sebastian.

Scary

The last few days have been such a rollercoaster. Being on bed rest sucks!!! But I will do what it takes to make sure my babies are doing good. Ya know having one day of bed rest always feels good but the second day is really boring. There is nothing to do and only so much t.v. and internet you can do. I don't think I have ever been so bored before. The best thing is that I am still pregnant.

Tuesday night we went to the hospital because i was bleeding VERY badly. I had also passed two clots that were huge. Doctor at ER said that we still had babies and that my cervix was closed which was very good news. He told me to take it easy and follow up with OB. I followed up and we got to see the babies again. Little squirrmers is what they are. Doctor recommended bed rest till next week to make sure the bleeding stops. Things look good the bleeding is slowing down and turning a pink color which is a very good sign. All i want is for these babies to grow and be healthy. I was so afraid i was loosing them it was very scary.

Twins

Friday, February 4Th 2011, I went to the doctor.


Before I continue let me tell you about the past year.


Right after Sebastian, my first born, turned one Ron and I had a discussion and decided we would try to become pregnant again. We started trying yet nothing happened. A few months went by and all of a sudden i had no period for about 2 months i was taking pregnancy tests every other week with neg. results. Finally I went to the doctor, it was time for my annual exam anyways. They did my exam and did another pregnancy test along with a blood test for pregnancy as well. Everything turned up negative.

One week later I had excruciating pain in the right side of my abdomen and went to the ER. They found a 6.2cm cyst on my right ovary. I then made an appointment with my doctor to go over what to do next. He put me on some medication and gave me some pain pills and i made a follow up appointment for six weeks down the road.

The middle of September was my next appointment. My doctor told me that the cyst had gone away on its own, awesome news. But i still wasn't having my cycle. So we decided that i would go on birth control to start a cycle. He gave me two months worth of samples of Loestrin 24FE. It jump started my cycle so that i had a period in October and in November. But when i went to actually fill my prescription we found that my insurance didn't cover it. So in December i talked to the doctors office and they put me on a totally different birth control one that totally didn't do anything. So for the months of December and January I had no cycle and started feeling extremely moody and depressed. Finally in January i decided i was going to take things into my own hands and change my life.

I got a personal trainer and changed my diet. I really started feeling good about a week into it but after the second week i started having this pain in the right side of my abdomen again. I just thought to my self GREAT not again. Not to mention that although i was working out and eating totally healthy i didn't loose any weight. So my trainer had recommended that i see the doctor to see if we could switch up the birth control as we were thinking that was the culprit of my non weight loss. Besides the fact that i was having the pain and i really didn't want to go to the ER again. So i made my appointment for Friday, February 5Th 2011 at 8:50am.


On Friday I let myself sleep in a little till about 7:30am and then got ready to go to the doctor. I was totally not excited to go. So i go to the doctor and see Pam at Dr.Shea's office. I talk to her about everything going on and she asks me. "Do you think you could be pregnant"? I responded with an "absolutely not" she told me that she would probably still have me do a pregnancy test and i told her okay even though i just thought to myself geeze not another test I'll need to fail. So she does a physical exam and pushes up on my right side of my abdomen and it hurt like nothing else. We had also discussed getting me a birth control closer to Loestrin as that is the one that helped my cycle the most. She told me after the exam to go ahead and get dressed and we would do an ultrasound to see if there was a cyst and if so how big. I go in the room with the machine and she goes out and tells the girls in the front to find something closer to Loestrin or a way that i can get it cheaper than the 90 dollars a month. while they are checking she comes in and lays me back and she starts up the machine.

She puts the monitor on my stomach and searches for the cyst how ever before we locate it she tells me "your pregnant". The only word i could say was "what"? as tears started flowing down my cheeks. She then told me it was twins. I said what again and are you sure. As she said yes she chuckled and i started bawling. She was very sweet and asked me if they were happy tears i told her yes and she gave me a tissue. She then told me that we needed to find the cyst which we did it was 5.4cm. But due to me being pregnant with twins there isn't much they can do about the cyst but hope it goes away on its own like the last one.

I walked out of the room in tears but extremely happy, as happy as when we found out we were pregnant with Sebastian. The girls in the front then started telling Pam i could fill out whats called a green card to give me a discount on the birth control and Pam told them it was a moot point and then whispered to me that she hadn't told them yet. I asked if she wanted to she said its your news you do it and smiled at me. I told the girls I don't need birth control anymore I'm pregnant with twins and started crying all over again and the girls in the front office started cheering, after they made sure they were happy tears.

And that is the story of how i found out i was pregnant with twins. =) the end and of course the beginning as well.......more posts to come